France grabs you from behind! What will you do? Step 1: Calm down. At least, he just grabbed me...
Step 2: Look for any of my body parts that is free, so that I could fight back.
Step 3: - If the movable part is the hand: Hit France as hard as possible in the head (the eye's the best place) with an elbow - If the movable part is the legs: Kick him in the... well... vital regions. Let that Eiffel Tower collapses! - If neither is free: Move my body downwards and use my grabbed hand as a lever or some sort, to push myself downwards. After I'm free, I'll grab one of his hands and pull him down. When he's down, grab both of his hands and put them behind him.
Step 4: Take the 12V car battery and jumper cables and say "Looks like you'd been messing with the wrong guy...". If he doesn't react, don't taze him with the jumper cables, and vice versa.
2P!France approaches you, smoking a cigarette! What will you do? "Hey, if you do want to approach me, please... without the cigarette. Don't you know that most lung cancer patients were non-smokers, but instead those who inhaled the smoke from the cigarettes? The smoke itself had more deadlier stuff in it compared to those that got into the lung of the smoker, because those stuff were filtered by the cigarette before entering the smoker's lung. You should have know this! You're one of the great minds of the world! You created the SI units and had standardized the measures..."
I'll just continue ranting about those stuff. If that didn't repel him or if he comes closer or something...
"Well, you left me with no choice, sir." Here comes the battery and jumper cables again.
P/S: If you think that I didn't do that in real life, I actually do. I'm serious.
Quoting Bumblebee in the Transformers movie; "Any more questions you want to ask?"
2P!England offers you a cupcake. Accept or decline? Decline, but for some uncommon reason: the cupcake is considered "syubahah" (SHOO-buh-huh) in my religion; that is, we don't know whether or not that cupcake is "halal" or "haraam" (i.e. whether or not it contains any stuff that we cannot eat).
I'm a Muslim, if you hadn't noticed it yet.
And, as usual, if he forced me to consume it, out comes the rogue DIY taser again... or maybe a mass spectrometer. (But can it be used, I wonder?)
What about you? What would you do if 2P!England offers you a cupcake?